How To Deal With Energy Vampires (The Negative People Who Drain Your Emotions)

Here’s the thing: the Law of Attraction never makes a mistake. It brings to us experiences that are inconsistent with the energy we are sending out.
True empowerment comes when we realize that we are always in charge of our own energy.

In every situation and in every relationship, you have the power to get rid of negative energy so you can live your best life.

Here’s how to make this vital shift and get rid of negative energy in 4 easy steps:

Step 1. Start paying attention to what you’re saying “no” to.
It’s important to realize that you don’t just say “no” with your words. Anytime you are in resistance to a particular person, situation, or circumstance, you are saying “no” energetically. And in this vibrational universe, the energy of no is every bit as powerful as the energy of yes.

The Law of Attraction responds to what, where and how your attention is focused.

If your focus is on “those people who are so negative,” then guess what? You are using your powerful focus to attract more negativity. As the old saying goes, complaining about people who complain is still complaining!
Yes, this is a jagged pill to swallow, but there’s no way of discovering your true power without accepting it.
The first step to getting rid of negative energy is to take a personal inventory of your own focus.

Here’s a simple exercise to help you do this:

Pick any one area of your life that isn’t unfolding as smoothly as you’d like. It could be the area of your intimate relationships. Or your job. Or your living environment. Or your relationship with your children.

Now allow yourself to see approximately what percentage of your attention you are giving to what’s wrong versus to what’s right. Are you vibrating more in harmony with dissatisfaction and condemnation or with acceptance and appreciation?

If you’re not sure, here’s one always-reliable way to find out. When you think about this area of your life, how do you feel? Does thinking about it evoke high-flying emotions like eagerness, thankfulness, or hope? Or do your emotions circle the drain in the range of hurt, disappointment, resignation or fear?

Your emotions are your most reliable, powerful compass. They tell you, in every moment, where you are and where you are headed.

Positive emotions signify you’re leaning in the direction of what you desire. Negative emotions indicate you’re contradicting the very outcomes you want to unfold.

In other words, your energy is split. One part of you is pulling in the direction of what you desire and another part of you is noticing what you’ve got.

Split energy is highly uncomfortable, completely counter-productive and unfortunately, a very common human experience. To learn what you can do about it, proceed to Step 2!

Step 2. Use the contrast of what you don’t want to gain clarity about what you do.

An easy way to do this is to make a list of your top 3 grievances in any area of your life that’s feeling more negative than positive.

For example:
“I feel unimportant to my husband.”
“I feel taken for granted.”
“I feel misunderstood.”
As you contemplate each complaint, identify how you’d like to feel instead.
For example:

“I desire to feel important.”
“I desire to feel appreciated.”
“I desire to feel understood.”
Pretty simple, right?

There are two sides to every experience. On one end of the equation is what we want, and on the other is what we don’t want. Negative emotion only arises when we’re focused in a way that is blocking the experience we desire.

Shifting your focus from unwanted to wanted goes a long way toward bridging that gap, but the next step delivers a quantum leap in mastering your energy.

 Manifesting Love Instead
Step 3. Decide for yourself that you are 100% responsible for your feelings.
No matter how it may seem, each of us is 100% responsible for the way we feel.
Here is an easy way to prove this to yourself:

If someone you love were to tell you that you have green hair, would that upset you? Probably not.
But what if that same person told you you’re selfish, or lazy, or that you’re too competitive? That would be a different story, right?

One statement evokes no response while another statement triggers feelings of anger or defensiveness because the words being offered have nothing to do with how you feel. You created the feeling — of neutrality, of anger, or of defensiveness — entirely within yourself.

Exactly how did you do this? By assigning a specific meaning to the words that were offered.
It’s never the comment, the circumstance, or the behavior that upsets us (although it certainly looks or feels that way at first blush). It is the meaning we assign to what happens to us that causes us to feel good or bad, and we alone assign those meanings in the privacy of our own hearts and minds

So the final step in getting rid of negative energy is to choose interpretations that empower you rather than disempower you by creating meanings that leave you feeling good, not bad. And this leads us to our fourth and final step.
Step 4. Decide in advance how you want to feel.

Those who lead mediocre lives look to others to affect the way they feel.
For example, they look to their significant other for a feeling of importance, or they look to their career for a feeling of worth or security. But if this is our approach, we are literally giving away our most precious resource: our ability to focus and feel on purpose.

Getting rid of negative energy is really only about choosing deliberately to focus on what you consider to be positive.

You only have so much bandwidth or attention span. You can’t focus on things that make you feel good and things that make you feel bad at the same time.

So, the secret to getting rid of negative energy is to fill yourself up with as much positivity as you possibly can. It really is that simple.

Don’t wait until you walk into the social situation and then notice how you’re feeling while you’re in it. Decide ahead of time how you’re going to feel.
Don’t make your feeling of desirability or importance contingent on receiving your partner’s undivided attention.
Don’t marry your internal feeling of worthiness or security with your career or bank account.

In other words, don’t assign your happiness to anyone else but yourself!
Get clear about who you are and how you want to feel. And every single day, nourish those feelings within you as part of your self-care regime.

Take responsibility for setting the energetic tone of every interaction you participate in. If you do this consistently, only those who match your positive energy will come into your experience.

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. If you’re ready to discover the limitlessness of your own wisdom and power, join her conscious community and begin to manifest greater abundance in your life with seven days of free meditations. Connect with her on her website for more.