How Performing In a Trapeze Show with My Boyfriend Changed Our Relationship

I've always been up for a challenge-that is, until I tore my ACL at an indoor trampoline facility at age 24 (pro tip: don't try to outdo your brother). The entire experience was painful, humbling, and from that moment on, my carefree behavior went straight out the window. I was terrified of getting injured again, so I moved with caution and avoided any risky activities, which eventually led to a more sedentary (read: boring AF) lifestyle. (I'm not the only one:
A year later, I moved from California to New York City and decided to refresh my mindset. I started living by the motto: "Say 'yes' to everything (within reason) and see where it goes."
So when the opportunity to try trapeze for a Shape video arose-a real chance to step out of my comfort zone and face my fear of injury-I had to say yes. But I pitched it with a twist: I'd convince my boyfriend, Blake, to learn with me and catch my final trick in the show.
Blake and I had only been dating about 10 months prior to this whole trapeze thing, and, admittedly, I was extremely hesitant to trust a new guy. He seemed pretty great, but I figured this would be a good way to truly test our trust and compatibility. Could we stay chill even when faced with a challenge? Did he really have my back?
Sure, we had worked out together on occasion, but we had never done anything as absurd as learning trapeze... on camera... for the whole internet to see.
So, one night after dinner I pitched the idea to him, which was, ironically, the same night I learned about his fear of heights. According to Blake, he's not afraid of heights, per se, but rather "the idea of being up high on something poorly made, you know, like an old NYC fire escape or a wobbly platform 20-feet in the air." Fair enough.
Blake was up for the challenge (even after he saw our performance costumes) and we both figured it would either be a great new hobby, shed some serious new light on our relationship, or-at the very least-be an interesting story to tell.

The Trapeze Experience

We signed up for a seven-week workshop at Circus Warehouse in Queens, New York-the same facility where superstar Zendaya trained for the movie The Greatest Showman. The first day was overwhelming and intimidating. People were swinging and flipping in the air all over the warehouse and all I could think was: What the hell did we sign up for?
The first day reminded me of my family teaching us kids how to swim. My family didn't sign us up for swimming lessons. Instead, they would literally pick us up and throw us into the water (if you were lucky, with floaties on) and you'd figure out how to move your body through the water in order to survive. Tough, I know, but that's where I assume my fearless attitude started. So when I found myself standing on a shaky platform, 20-plus feet in the air, holding onto a heavy metal bar, I knew it was go-time.
I jumped off the board and had this euphoric moment of finally letting go of my fears. It was overwhelmingly satisfying... until I realized how complicated it was to keep a good grip on the bar, listen to the instructor, and attempt to look graceful while swinging through the air.
Trapeze is, actually, all about timing. You have to time the jump, the swing, the knee hang, and the reach-or else there's no shot of catching your partner on the other side. A knee hang involves two people: a flyer (me) and a catcher (Blake). The flyer jumps off of the platform and swings their legs over the bar to hang upside down. On the swing back, the flyer releases their hands to meet the catcher in the air to lock forearms, while the flyer lets go of the bar with their legs. If anything was even a hair off, we wouldn't make contact

Week after week, Blake and I were embarrassed or frustrated when we couldn't complete our trick. We'd get into minor quarrels and start a blame game of who did or didn't do something correctly-all while being filmed and observed by our insanely talented workshop members.
We finally accomplished the trick two days before the show. While it was a relief that we had actually pulled it off, one success in seven weeks wasn't exactly a reassuring track record. Come showtime, we were both incredibly nervous. I climbed the ladder, stood on the shaky platform, took a deep breath, and jumped. I reached blindly, caught sight of Blake swinging toward me, and I instantly knew that we did it. Success. It was the best feeling ever.
I was proud of us both as individuals and as a couple for tackling such a foreign experience together. In that moment, when all of our hard work paid off, I really felt like we were a team
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