How to love yourself: 4 steps to believing in yourself again

In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to love yourself.

What to do.

What not to do.

(And most important of all) how to believe in yourself when you feel like the world is telling you different.

Let’s go…

1) What you need to understand first

If there is only one lesson you learn this entire year, it’s this: You are absolutely the most important person in your entire universe.

Your entire life is lived through your eyes. Your interactions with the world and those around you, your thoughts and how you interpret events, relationships, actions, and words.

You might just be another person when it comes to the grand scheme of things, but when it comes to your understanding of reality, you are the only thing that matters.

And because of that, your reality depends on how much you love and take care of you.

Your relationship with yourself is the most defining factor in shaping the kind of life you live.

The less you love yourself, listen to yourself, and understand yourself, the more confused, angry, and frustrating your reality will be.

But when you begin and continue to love yourself more, the more everything you see, everything you do, and everyone you interact with, starts to become a little bit better in every way possible.

But self-love isn’t easy. As they say: you are your own biggest critic.

We’re programmed to have bouts of self-loathing, and for many of us, these phases of self-hatred can turn into our entire lives.

2) Your Daily You

Think of the people in your life that you love and respect. How do you treat them?

You are kind to them, patient with their thoughts and ideas, and you forgive them when they make a mistake.

You give them space, time, and opportunity; you make sure they have the room to grow because you love them enough to believe in the potential of their growth.

Now think of how you treat yourself.

Do you give yourself the love and respect that you might give your closest friends or significant other?

Do you take care of your body, your mind, and your needs?

Here are all the ways that you could be showing your body and mind self-love in your everyday life:

• Sleeping properly
• Eating healthy
• Giving yourself time and space to understand your spirituality
• Exercising regularly
• Thanking yourself and those around you
• Playing when you need it
• Avoiding vices and toxic influences
• Reflecting and meditating

How many of these daily activities do you allow yourself? And if not, then how can you say you truly love yourself?

Loving yourself is more than just a state of mind—it’s also a series of actions and habits that you embed into your everyday life.

You have to show yourself that you love you, from the beginning of your day to the end.

3) Accepting the Pain

No one is perfect. Some of us confuse self-love with endless positivity and endless optimism.

There are those who go about their day singing the praises of God no matter how bad they might be feeling or how horrible their predicament might be.

And we think this is the right thing to do; after all, shouldn’t positive vibes simply attract more positive vibes?

But the truth is that your endless optimism is a giant lie. You’re lying to a part of yourself, ignoring the needs of half of who you are.

Because we all have a dark side; we all hold anguish, hatred, and pain. Ignoring these realities eats us up, and forces us to cave-in spiritually and mentally.

Allow yourself to be honest with who you are. Forgive yourself for your past deeds, those things you are ashamed of.

Accept that you are sometimes a carrier of negative emotions, like disgust, rage, and jealousy. And learn to embrace the silence when you need it.

4) Find and Open Your Heart

While step 3 is about acknowledging and accepting the pain, step 4 is about reconciling with a cold and unopened heart.

Ask yourself this one question: do you fully love yourself?

Accepting your flaws and your faults is one thing, but loving a person who can have your thoughts, your emotions, your vices, and your mistakes? That’s a completely higher level of self-love.

Discover your life story. Trace your path from childhood to the person you are now.

Understand yourself in the most intimate way possible, and find the reason for every negative emotion, every shameful act, every word and deed that you now regret.

Take the skeletons out of your closet and try to remember why they are there in the first place.

Perhaps the most important thing you will discover is that most parts of our personality have a cause, and those that don’t can be learned away.

Maybe you have false understandings of reality, or trauma, or feelings of victimhood.

Maybe you see the world differently than it actually is, and because of that, you did things you now know to be wrong.