UHONDO KITANDANI

What’s Your Love Style?

When you say “I love you,” what do you mean?
Terry Hatkoff, a California State University sociologist, has created a love scale that identifies six distinct types of love found in our closest relationships.

• Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction 
• Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection 
• Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.  
• Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
• Possessive: Jealousy and obsession 
• Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice

Researchers have found that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is typically a combination of two or three different forms of love. But often, two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. Dr. Hatkoff gives the example of a man and woman having dinner. The waiter flirts with the woman, but the husband doesn’t seem to notice, and talks about changing the oil in her car. The wife is upset her husband isn’t jealous. The husband feels his extra work isn’t appreciated.
What does this have to do with love? The man and woman each define love differently. For him, love is practical, and is best shown by supportive gestures like car maintenance. For her, love is possessive, and a jealous response by her husband makes her feel valued.
Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help you navigate conflict and put romance back into your relationship. You and your partner can take the Love Style quiz from Dr. Hatkoff and find out how each of you defines love. If you learn your partner tends toward jealousy, make sure you notice when someone is flirting with him or her. If your partner is practical in love, notice the many small ways he or she shows love by taking care of everyday needs.

When you spend most of the day-to-day with someone you love, it can be easy to take them for granted. Anniversaries are a wonderful time to shower your spouse with the attention that they deserve. After all, just because you can already call them "yours" doesn't mean that the romance needs to disappear! Giving your wife or husband romantic anniversary messages on your anniversary ensures that they'll never forget why they choose you in the first place!

• When I tell you "I Love You," I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that you are the best thing that ever happened to me.
• The best thing about having forever is you. We are timeless. Together, we will always have stability, friendship, laughter and joy. I love you. Happy Anniversary!
• I'm the tea bag and you are my cup of hot water. Being drenched in you brings out the best in me. Happy anniversary!
• Growing old together is my favorite gift I've ever got from you. Happy Anniversary!
• "As we grow older together, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change. I will always keep falling in love with you." — Karen Clodfelder
• If I had my life to live over again…next time I would find you sooner so that I could love you longer. Happy Anniversary to us!
• Our anniversary marks 365 more days you've made me laugh, appreciate you, learn, grow and be oh-so-glad we're together!
• Life can't get any better—I tend to overuse this phrase because my life keeps getting better with you every single day. Happy anniversary.
• The years seem to be going faster and faster. I think that's because I am having more and more fun with you.

Making your love known to that special someone is one of those little things that not just keep relationships alive, but also helps them flourish. Whether it's a special occasion or simply another day on the calendar, your loved one is sure to appreciate any romantic messages you might leave them!

Weddings are by their very nature a celebration of love and romance, so why not tell your spouse-to-be exactly how you feel? If your emotions are too overwhelming to articulate, call upon these moving words to help you along. Whether you're writing one-of-a-kind wedding vows or a cute pre-ceremony letter to your betrothed, these romantic wedding messages and quotes about love will allow you to put that special touch on your big day!

• When you fall I will pick you up. When you are happy I will share your joy. When you need a friend I will be the first one there. I will always love you.
• I used to not believe in soulmates. I'm here with you because you made me believe.
• Even though I'm unsure about most things in life, I am certain that I love you and I will continue to love you forever.
• If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I'm I had never lived without you.
• I feel like everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. Everything. And when we're together, my past seems worth it. Because if I had done one thing differently, I might never have met you.
• I choose you. And I'll choose you over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you.
• I never could grasp the meaning of "perfect"—until I met you. Suddenly the definition fell into place and my breath was taken away each moment I spent with you.
• My soul saw you and it kind of went, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you."
• "Eventually soulmates meet, for they have the same hiding place." — Robert Brault
• "You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me." — Amie Kaufman, Illuminae

All in all, birthdays are a celebration of a person's existence, so what better time to remind your partner how much you adore them? Romantic birthday wishes not only congratulate your sweetheart on their joyous day, but also make them feel appreciated and truly loved. With the help of these romantic birthday messages, you can give your partner a "Happy Birthday" that's truly unforgettable!

• Although your birthday only comes once a year, my love for you will last forever. Today is your special day, I am glad we are spending it together.
• I hope your birthday is as incredible as my love is for you. You are very special to me and you deserve an even more special day.
• There is not enough words in the dictionary to express how much you mean to me, and to express how much I love you. Life could not be better without you. You complete every missing part of me. Happy birthday, my angel. I love you very much.
• It doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing, what matters is who you are. I love who you are. Happy Birthday!
• Congratulations to your parents to have given birth to such a beautiful person many years ago on this day. Your Birthday reminds me that you are the only person I want to spend my life with. Happy Birthday!
• No matter how many birthday cake candles you've got lit, they'll never light up my life like you do. Have a good one!
• I can't put a price on our memories, but I can make them better by adding a few more to the pile! Happy Birthday, love!
• Wishing you a birthday as perfect as you are for me. Enjoy your day to the fullest!
• Every day with you is one great celebration filled only with beautiful moments. I love you baby. Happy Birthday!
• You're the reason I enjoy the taste of fine wine, the smell of fresh flowers, and the flavors of the best food. Life is good because of you. Happy Birthday!

In those quiet moments before we surrender to sleep, most of us think of the people in our lives that matter most. Sending a good night SMS is one of the most simple, yet moving ways to let that special someone know that they're on your mind. It also gives them the perfect ending to even the lousiest of days. Send one of these good night text messages and give your loved one the closest thing you can to a good night kiss!

• Come to my dreams if you can. I'll kiss you there.
• Tonight I'll fall asleep with you in my heart.
• You will be the last thing I think of before I fall to sleep and first thing to remember when I wake up.
• Everyday I spend with you is the new best day of my life. Can't wait for the morning. Good night
• My days are worth it if I can end them with you by my side. Good night.
• Sleeping is impossible when all I can think about is you. Good night!
• The brightest thing in this world are your eyes when you look at me. I don't want to see stars, but your eyes. Have a good night.
• Before I fall asleep, I always picture what it would feel like to fall asleep in your arms. It's the best feeling in the world
• I'm in my bed, you're in your bed. One of us is in the wrong place.
• Every night I love coming back home. Because home is being in your arms. Goodnight.

Male poets are often shown composing sonnets for their leading ladies, but many women throughout history have written masterpieces in the name of love. You too can carry on this tradition. Tell your man exactly how you feel by channeling the power of the written word. Whether you pen a poem yourself or borrow from the classics, your loved one is sure to appreciate the eloquent message you're throwing his way. Make your Southern romance truly come alive with these love poems for him!

• "Love arrives / and in its train come ecstasies / old memories of pleasure / ancient histories of pain. / Yet if we are bold, / love strikes away the chains of fear / from our souls. / We are weaned from our timidity / In the flush of love's light / we dare be brave / And suddenly we see / that love costs all we are / and will ever be. / Yet it is only love / which sets us free." — "Touched by an Angel," Maya Angelou
• "My monkey-wrench man is my sweet patootie; / the lover of my life, my youth and age. / My heart belongs to him and to him only; / the children of my flesh are his and bear his rage / Now grown to years advancing through the dozens / the honeyed kiss, the lips of wine and fire / fade blissfully into the distant years of yonder / but all my days of Happiness and wonder / are cradled in his arms and eyes entire. / They carry us under the waters of the world / out past the starposts of a distant planet / And creeping through the seaweed of the ocean / they tangle us with ropes and yarn of memories / where we have been together, you and I." — "Love Song for Alex, 1979," Margaret Walker
• "I had not thought of violets late, / The wild, shy kind that spring beneath your feet / In wistful April days, when lovers mate / And wander through the fields in raptures sweet. / The thought of violets meant florists' shops, / And bows and pins, and perfumed papers fine; / And garish lights, and mincing little fops / And cabarets and soaps, and deadening wines. / So far from sweet real things my thoughts had strayed, / I had forgot wide fields; and clear brown streams; / The perfect loveliness that God has made,— / Wild violets shy and Heaven-mounting dreams. / And now—unwittingly, you've made me dream / Of violets, and my soul's forgotten gleam." — "Sonnet," Alice Moore Dunbar-Nelson

Most everyone would agree that few things in the world are more swoon-worthy than love poetry. After all, sometimes poetry expresses feelings in a way that normal words just can't manage. Whether you hope to win her over or steal her heart all over again, these quintessential Southern love poems for her are a great way to add a romantic touch to her day!

• "But we loved with a love that was more than love— / I and my Annabel Lee— / With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven Coveted her and me." — "Annabel Lee," Edgar Allan Poe
• "I lov'd thee from the earliest dawn, / When first I saw thy beauty's ray,/ And will, until life's eve comes on, / And beauty's blossom fades away; / And when all things go well with thee, / With smiles and tears remember me. / I'll love thee when thy morn is past, / And wheedling gallantry is o'er, / When youth is lost in age's blast, / And beauty can ascend no more. / And when life's journey ends with thee, / O, then look back and think of me." — "Early Affection," George Moses Horton
• "There's no doubt in my mind / a Southern girl was born / for a man to hold, / to sway as one / to the sound of country music, / in his arms he embraces pure gold. / A man is born to love a Southern girl / blond hair, black hair, brown hair, / straight or curled, / a man is born to love a Southern girl." — "Born to Love a Southern Girl," Steven S. Walsky